Living with Fibromyalgia: My Journey and What I’ve Learned Over 30 Years
I was just 19 years old when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what it meant, aside from the fact that it involved pain—pain that sometimes made the simplest tasks feel impossible. My dad had been diagnosed not long before me, so I had a small glimpse of what this “fibro” thing might look like. But when it became part of my own life, it felt new. Unknown.
I’ve always been an active person, and I wasn’t ready to give that up. Even at 19, I had this stubborn belief that fibromyalgia wasn’t going to control my life. I wasn’t interested in following the traditional medical route either. I thought, I can manage this on my own. And so, I set out to do exactly that.
Trial, Error, and Stubbornness
At first, my management style could best be described as “push through”—not exactly a textbook example of self-care. I didn’t want to slow down. Slowing down felt like giving up, and that was my greatest fear. But fibromyalgia is a persistent companion, and I quickly learned that it doesn’t appreciate being ignored.
I began to figure out, often the hard way, what my limits were. Some activities came with painful repercussions that lasted for days. Other things, I realized, brought genuine relief or at least didn’t make things worse. Over the years, through trial and error (and yes, sheer stubbornness), I found ways to live with fibromyalgia rather than against it.
I’ve now been managing fibro for 30 years, and while it hasn’t always been easy, it’s taught me a lot about myself, my body, and what truly matters.
What Holistic Management Looks Like
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this—you have to listen to your body. It’s easy to brush that advice off as a cliché, but it’s made all the difference for me. Over time, I’ve built a toolbox of holistic methods that help me maintain balance and live a life I love. Here’s what has worked for me:
- Listen to your body. This was my biggest lesson and the hardest one for me to learn. Pay attention to the signals your body is sending. Know when it’s okay to keep going and when it’s time to stop. And yes, sometimes you might still choose to push through, but at least you’ll go in with your eyes open.
- Stay active (within reason). Movement has been essential for me. Hiking, for example, is one of my greatest joys, and something I’ve been able to continue doing. I’ve also fallen in love with yoga. It’s helped me stay grounded, flexible, and in tune with my body’s needs. The key was figuring out what movement worked for me—finding balance without overdoing it.
- Eat in a way that supports your body. There’s a lot of trial and error here, too. I’ve had to learn what foods trigger pain and brain fog and what fuels my energy instead. Everyone’s body is different, so this is a process of tuning in and making adjustments.
- Be mindful of your environment. Stress, toxins, and external factors can all have an impact. I’ve worked to limit my stress as much as possible (admittedly, not always an easy task), and replaced toxic products in my home with healthier alternatives.
- Use natural support tools. Essential oils and other natural remedies have played a big role in my management. They’re not magic fixes, but they’ve been helpful tools along the way.
- Adapt as needed. One constant in life is change, and that applies to your body as well. What worked for me at 19 doesn’t look exactly the same at 49. You have to be willing to adjust and keep experimenting to find what works in each phase of life.
A Life Well-Lived, with Fibro Along for the Ride
Here’s the truth—fibromyalgia isn’t a life sentence. Yes, it’s part of my life, but it doesn’t define it. Over these 30 years, I’ve learned how to work with my body instead of against it. That stubborn teenager who refused to back down? She’s still with me, but she’s a little kinder now. A little softer.
Some days are harder than others. That’s true for all of us, fibro or not. But I’ve found that there’s so much life to be lived when you let go of the fear and focus on what you can do. Hiking trails, laughing with loved ones, trying new things—these are the moments that remind me that fibro doesn’t get to take the lead.
If you’re walking a similar road, I want you to know you’re not alone. This condition can feel isolating at times, but there’s a whole world of people who get it. And trust me—it’s possible to live a fulfilling life even with fibromyalgia by your side. You’re stronger than you think. Keep listening to your body, keep experimenting, and most importantly, keep going.
Join the Soul Sisters Transformation Tribe
Are you looking for a community that truly gets it? A safe, compassionate space where you can share your experiences, find encouragement, and connect with others who understand the unique challenges you’re facing—whether it’s managing a health condition like fibromyalgia or tackling self-doubt?
The Soul Sisters Transformation Tribe is a supportive community built just for women like you. Together, we uplift, empower, and inspire one another to keep growing and thriving, no matter what life throws our way.
Join us today and discover a tribe that feels like home. Because you don’t have to walk this path alone—we’re stronger together.
Join the Tribe Now and start your transformation!
Have you ever caught yourself being your harshest critic? Maybe it’s that voice in your head telling you, "You’ll never be good enough," or that sinking feeling when you compare yourself to someone else’s highlight reel. Trust me, I’ve been there. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned on my self-growth journey, it’s this: self-love isn’t just a buzzword or a fleeting trend—it’s a daily practice.
But where do you even start? How do you go from tearing yourself down to building yourself up? That’s what we’re going to explore together. By the time you finish reading this, I hope you’ll have tangible tools to treat yourself with the same kindness you so easily offer to others.
What Does Self-Love Really Mean?
Before we get into the "how," let's talk about the "what." What is self-love? Is it bubble baths and spa days? Sure, sometimes. But at its core, self-love is about valuing yourself as a person. It’s about understanding that you deserve respect, compassion, and care—yes, even when things aren’t perfect.
For a long time, I thought self-love was something you unlocked after achieving a goal. I’d say to myself, “I’ll love myself once I lose 10 pounds” or “I’ll be kinder to myself after I’ve hit that career milestone.” Spoiler alert: the milestones came and went, but the self-love never showed up — because I wasn’t practicing it.
Self-love isn’t conditional. It’s not something you earn when you’re "better" or "fixed." It’s about accepting yourself right now, as you are.
Why Self-Love Is Harder Than It Sounds
If you’ve struggled with self-love, you’re not alone. We live in a world that profits off our insecurities. Think about it—how many ads have you seen with the underlying message, "You’re not enough, but if you buy this, maybe you will be"?
It doesn’t help that many of us grew up with mixed messages. Be confident, but not too confident. Love yourself, but don’t be selfish. It’s no wonder self-love feels confusing and even unachievable at times.
But here’s the truth I wish someone had told me sooner: you can rewrite those narratives. They don’t define you unless you allow them to.
6 Practical Ways to Start Loving Yourself
The good news? Self-love isn’t about one big, life-altering moment. It’s about the small, intentional choices you make every day. Here are six practices that have worked for me—and that I hope will work for you, too.
1. Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend
Would you tell your best friend, “You’re such a failure for making that mistake”? Of course not! But how often do you say things like that to yourself?
Start paying attention to your internal dialogue. When you catch yourself being self-critical, pause and ask, “Would I say this to someone I care about?” If the answer is no, try rephrasing it. Instead of, “I’m such a mess,” try, “I’m doing my best, and that’s okay.”
It feels strange at first—I won’t lie. But over time, this small act of kindness can transform the way you see yourself.
2. Set Boundaries (And Stick to Them)
Here’s a tough truth I had to learn the hard way: you can’t love yourself if you’re always sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love often looks like saying "no" to things that drain you, so you can say "yes" to what nourishes you.
Maybe it’s declining that extra work project when you’re already swamped. Maybe it’s setting limits with a friend who’s always asking for favors but never reciprocates. Remember, boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re necessary.
3. Celebrate Your Wins (Big and Small)
We’re so quick to celebrate others, but when was the last time you celebrated yourself? And I’m not just talking about the big achievements. Did you get out of bed on a day when anxiety tried to hold you hostage? That’s a win. Did you finally tackle that pile of laundry? Another win.
Try ending each day by writing down three things you’re proud of yourself for. It might feel silly at first, but trust me—it’s a game-changer.
4. Forgive Yourself
I used to carry my mistakes around like heavy luggage. I’d replay them in my head, wondering why I wasn’t smarter, better, or more prepared. But here’s the thing about mistakes: they’re proof that you’re trying, learning, and growing.
Self-love means extending grace to yourself. Forgive yourself for the times you fell short. Treat those moments as lessons, not verdicts.
5. Prioritize Self-Care that Feeds Your Soul
When you hear “self-care,” what comes to mind? For me, it’s not always face masks or long baths—though I do love a good skincare routine. Sometimes, self-care is as simple as going for a walk, eating a meal that nourishes my body, or calling a friend when I feel low.
Ask yourself, “What do I genuinely need right now?” Then honor that need without guilt.
6. Surround Yourself With Positivity
They say you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Who are yours? Do they uplift you, or do they drain you?
Cultivate a circle that encourages self-love and growth. Follow social media accounts that inspire you, join communities that align with your values, and spend time with people who see and celebrate your worth.
Self-Love Is a Journey, Not a Destination
Here’s the thing about self-love that no one really tells you—it’s not a one-and-done deal. Like any relationship, the one with yourself requires ongoing care and attention. There will be days when it feels easier and days when it feels nearly impossible. That’s okay. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
If you’re struggling with where to start, consider this your gentle nudge forward. Pick one practice from this blog and try it today. Then tomorrow, and the day after that. With time, these small acts of love will add up. And when they do, you’ll look back and realize you’ve built a life that feels lighter, brighter, and more you.
Because at the end of the day, you are the only you there will ever be. And if that’s not reason enough to love yourself, I don’t know what is.
Take the Next Step Toward Your Best Self
Feeling inspired to start your self-love journey? Why not make 2025 the year you truly step into your power? I’ve created a free Word of the Year Workbook to help you find your guiding word—your anchor for the year ahead. Think of it as a personal mantra that keeps you focused, motivated, and aligned with the life you want to create.
This workbook is simple, fun, and designed to help you reflect on what matters most to you. By the end, you’ll have a word that feels like it was made just for you—a compass to guide you through 2025, one intentional choice at a time.
Don’t wait—grab your Word of the Year Workbook now and start creating a year that feels more you. You deserve it! 💕
Can Mindfulness Transform Your Holiday Stress into Joy?
Have you ever felt the pressure of juggling work, family, and festive cheer during the holiday season? For single working moms, this time of year can feel like an impossible balancing act. I know this firsthand because I've been there too. Managing a career while raising active kids who are involved in sports and other extracurricular activities is no easy task. Add the holidays into the mix, and stress levels can skyrocket.
The holidays are meant to be joyful and filled with warmth, yet it's all too easy to get swept up in the hustle and lose sight of what truly matters. This time of year often involves shuttling kids between different households, a task that demands logistics worthy of a general. But in the middle of all the chaos, I want to invite you to pause, breathe, and immerse yourself in mindfulness.
The Transformative Power of Mindfulness
Mindfulness—a practice rooted in being fully present and aware in the moment—can be your anchor in the swirling sea of holiday madness. It's not about achieving a state of perfect calm but finding moments of peace amid the noise. As a working mom, you may believe that carving out time for mindfulness is impossible. But what if I told you that it only takes five minutes a day?
Imagine this: You’re on your way to work, and instead of tuning into the chatter of your to-do list or worries, you focus on your breath. Inhale deeply, noticing the air filling your lungs, and exhale slowly, releasing tension. Or find solace in the bathroom for a few extra minutes, allowing yourself the luxury of silence and reflection. These small pockets of mindfulness can make a significant difference.
Real-World Evidence of Mindfulness Benefits
The benefits of mindfulness are backed by research. Studies have found that mindfulness practices significantly reduce stress and anxiety, improving emotional well-being. It empowers you to respond to holiday challenges with a calm mind rather than reacting impulsively.
Overcoming the Challenges of Busy Schedules
I understand the challenges you face; I remember sneaking in moments of mindfulness while waiting for my kids at practice or before bed. I encourage you to look for these moments throughout your day. They're there, waiting to be claimed. You might even find that these brief reprieves enhance your ability to juggle responsibilities, bringing clarity and focus when you need it most.
A Community of Support
You don’t have to do this alone. I’ve created a free group dedicated to supporting and encouraging each other as we explore mindfulness and self-care. It’s a space to share triumphs and struggles, to learn from one another, and to grow together as we strive to transform holiday stress into joy.
I invite you to join our community. Let's walk this path of mindfulness together, empowering ourselves to find peace and happiness even during the busiest times. Together, we can redefine the holiday season, turning it into a celebration of presence, gratitude, and love.
Call to Action
Ready to take the first step? Join my free group and connect with like-minded moms who understand the unique challenges you face. Let's inspire and support each other on this mindfulness journey. Click here to join now and unlock the door to a more joyful holiday experience.
Remember, amidst the holiday hustle, you deserve moments of peace and mindfulness. Your well-being is a gift worth giving not only to yourself but also to those you love.
Building Healthy Habits: Encouraging Kids to Make Nutritious Choices Over the Holidays
Have you ever wondered why some children are more open to trying new foods than others? Or maybe you're curious about how to turn a holiday feast into an opportunity for your kids to make healthier choices. Let's look at how we can encourage our children to build lifelong healthy eating habits, even during the indulgent holiday season.
As a parent who has somehow managed to raise three children into their twenties without a single super picky eater, I often reflect on the small but meaningful choices I made along the way. While my kids, like any, had their own preferences, we avoided the battles over food likes and dislikes by fostering an environment where trying new things was the norm rather than the exception.
Start with Positivity and Expectation
One of the keys to success is setting a positive example and expectation. When I cooked meals, I never questioned whether they would like what I fixed. I simply made a meal expecting them to enjoy it because I did. More often than not, they did too. This approach not only broadens their palate but also builds a natural curiosity about food.
Avoid the "Clean Plate" Mentality
Many people grow up in households where "cleaning your plate" is a rule. However, shifting this mindset can have profound impacts. In my home, if my kids were hungry, they ate if they weren't, they didn't. They only ate until they were no longer hungry, helping them avoid associating fullness with discomfort. This approach instilled in them the ability to listen to their bodies, an invaluable skill for making healthy eating choices.
Make Food Fun and Interactive
Why does food have to be serious? Holidays are the perfect time to make food fun. In our house, we played with our food—not in the messy sense, but in creative exploration. Whether it was picking new fruits and veggies, experimenting with cooking methods, or creating fun food faces on their plates, each meal was an adventure. Family time around the table became an opportunity for bonding, making food not just taste better but feel better too.
Engage Them in the Kitchen
Empower your kids by involving them in meal prep. We had DIY pizza nights, build-your-own salad bars, and quesadilla-making events. Giving them a voice in what went on their plates—within healthy guidelines—fostered independence and creativity.
Addressing Holiday Challenges
During the holiday season, temptations abound. But these are also moments ripe for teaching. Turn dessert into a learning experience by discussing how treats fit into a balanced diet. Encourage them to try everything in small amounts to appreciate variety without overindulging.
Conclusion: The Journey Towards Wellness
Building healthy habits doesn’t happen overnight, and it's okay to stumble along the way. The goal isn't perfection but progress. By making small, consistent efforts, we can guide our children towards healthier lifestyles.
If you're looking for more ways to engage your kids in healthy living, check out my Wellness Fusion program. There's a special bonus section just for the kids, filled with fun activities and recipes that bring the whole family together.
Remember, the holidays are about joy, connection, and gratitude—and there's no better way to celebrate than by nurturing our children's health and happiness. Join me in making this holiday season a stepping stone to lifelong wellness. 🌟
Healing Through Harmony: Finding Solace in Music and Faith
Have you ever stumbled upon a song that seemed to speak directly to your soul, reminding you of your worth in your darkest moments?
Music has this incredible power to heal, to lift us from that darkness, and to guide us on our path to recovery. For trauma survivors, particularly those healing from emotional wounds inflicted by toxic relationships, integrating music with faith can be a huge step towards reclaiming one's sense of self-worth and confidence.
Why Music Matters
Music isn't just an auditory experience; it's an emotional one. Songs have the ability to articulate feelings we cannot express ourselves, validating our struggles and triumphs. Inspirational songs like Lauren Daigle's "You Say" have resonated with countless trauma survivors, serving as beacons of hope and healing.
This very song came on this morning as I was drinking my coffee. I didn't realize how much I needed its words to remind me of who I am until it started playing. Almost eight years after leaving toxic relationships, I am still very much on my healing journey. Music, especially songs like "You Say," continues to play a major role in my recovery, affirming my worth and encouraging me to remember my true self.
The Healing Journey in Lyrics
"You Say" speaks to the inner conflict many trauma survivors face—the struggle between doubt and self-belief. The lyrics reflect a powerful message of faith, challenging the lies that trauma often leaves in its wake. They remind us that despite the harsh words we've heard, we are strong, worthy, and never alone.
For those navigating the aftermath of trauma, these affirmations can serve as a lifeline. The song encourages us to confront internalized negativity, replacing it with faith-driven truths that guide us towards healing.
Faith as a Foundation
While music alone is a powerful tool, combining it with faith creates an even stronger foundation for healing. Faith offers a sense of purpose and understanding, providing comfort when the world feels overwhelming. It's about believing in a higher power and, equally important, believing in oneself.
Having been through similar experiences myself, I know how easy it is to lose confidence and self-worth. The words meant to harm can hang around long after they're spoken, embedding themselves into our minds. But when we pair the soothing comfort of music with the strength of faith, we create a space where healing can thrive.
Join The Community
If you're on a similar path, seeking solace and strength after trauma, know that you're not alone. I'd want to invite you to join my free online community—a space dedicated to supporting each other’s healing journeys. Here, we share our stories, our favorite songs, and our unwavering belief in the power of self-growth and improvement.
Together, let's transform our pain into power. Let's remind each other of our inherent worth and support one another as we continue to heal and grow. Join us, and let's make this healing journey a shared experience—where every voice is heard, and every story matters.
