Hey there friend,
Have you ever tried to clean out a closet and found yourself sitting in the middle of the mess, surrounded by piles of forgotten items, wondering how it got this bad? That’s what growth feels like sometimes. It’s sitting in the chaos, knee-deep in the messy middle, questioning how you’ll get through it—but knowing you can’t stop now.
Growth isn’t clean or polished. It’s not this perfectly linear process where you check off a neat to-do list. Oh no, sister. Growth is glorious chaos. It’s painful, humbling, messy, and uncomfortable. I know because I’ve lived it.
I’ve walked through fire more times than I care to count and come out the other side stronger, wiser, and more me. The pain, the lessons, the heartbreak? They didn’t break me. They built me. And as much as it hurt, I can honestly say I am thankful for every single step of my messy, winding path.
Learning to Be Thankful for the Mess
Here’s the thing I’ve learned about messy growth. It doesn’t just happen to us. It shapes us. Every hard moment I’ve endured, every tear-stained night, every time I doubted my strength or questioned why God would put me in that situation—it was all part of something bigger.
I often say that I’m honored God trusted me to go through these things. He didn’t give me these battles because He wanted to hurt me; He gave them to me because He knew I’d grow through them. He saw something in me I didn’t yet see in myself.
Without those struggles, I wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. I wouldn’t have the compassion, the depth, or the ability to connect with other women who feel like the mess of their lives is too much to untangle. Every trial has prepared me to help others walk this same road.
And you know what? Looking back, I can see how every single painful moment led me closer to the life I’m meant to live, closer to the person I’m meant to be. If I hadn’t gone through those things, I wouldn’t be here, writing this for you, reminding you that your messy growth is beautiful too.
The Mess Is What Makes You
When you’re in the middle of it, messy growth doesn’t feel beautiful. It feels overwhelming. It feels heavy. It feels like you’ll never get it together. But listen to me closely, friend. The beauty of messy growth isn’t in its neatness (because ha, there’s no such thing). The beauty comes from what it reveals about you.
Messy growth shows you how strong you are. It forces you to reckon with yourself—to sit in your pain, your beliefs, your patterns, and decide what stays and what needs to go. It’s where your foundation gets rebuilt.
Think of it like planting a garden. The process is messy; you’re digging through dirt, breaking apart roots, maybe finding a few weeds you didn’t realize were choking your soil. But when it’s all said and done, you’ve created space for something beautiful to grow.
That space? That’s your life. Every messy struggle, every hard season, every pivot and stumble is preparing the soil for your next chapter.
You Are Not Alone in This
If you’re feeling lost in your own mess right now, I want you to know two things. First, you are not alone. Not even close. Second, the mess does not define you. It’s not who you are, and it’s not your future.
I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt stuck and broken and unsure of how to move forward. I’ve looked in the mirror and wondered who I even was anymore. But I promise you, this season of growth—even with all its pain and uncertainty—is shaping you.
One day, you’ll look back on this messy, wild, complicated chapter and realize that it wasn’t breaking you after all. It was making you. It was strengthening your voice, sharpening your boundaries, and grounding you in who you really are.
A Beautiful, Messy Reminder
God doesn’t waste anything. Not your tears, not your struggles, not your mess. He’s weaving all of it into a bigger, more beautiful story than you could ever imagine.
It’s okay if it feels hard right now. It’s okay to take it one moment at a time. But don’t you dare give up. You are creating the life you were made for, and the mess is proof that you’re growing. There’s no need to rush or force neatness on this process.
You are in the middle of something beautiful. I see it, and I hope, at least for today, you can see a glimpse of it too.
You’ve got this, friend. And if you’re sitting in the middle of your mess, wondering how to move forward, know that I’m here for you. Reach out if you want to share your story—I’d be honored to hear it.
With love and belief in you,
Angela
P.S. It’s never too late to set the tone for your year! Grab my free Word of the Year Workbook and choose a word that will guide and empower you through this season of your life. The best time to start is right now!
Have you ever caught yourself being your harshest critic? Maybe it’s that voice in your head telling you, "You’ll never be good enough," or that sinking feeling when you compare yourself to someone else’s highlight reel. Trust me, I’ve been there. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned on my self-growth journey, it’s this: self-love isn’t just a buzzword or a fleeting trend—it’s a daily practice.
But where do you even start? How do you go from tearing yourself down to building yourself up? That’s what we’re going to explore together. By the time you finish reading this, I hope you’ll have tangible tools to treat yourself with the same kindness you so easily offer to others.
What Does Self-Love Really Mean?
Before we get into the "how," let's talk about the "what." What is self-love? Is it bubble baths and spa days? Sure, sometimes. But at its core, self-love is about valuing yourself as a person. It’s about understanding that you deserve respect, compassion, and care—yes, even when things aren’t perfect.
For a long time, I thought self-love was something you unlocked after achieving a goal. I’d say to myself, “I’ll love myself once I lose 10 pounds” or “I’ll be kinder to myself after I’ve hit that career milestone.” Spoiler alert: the milestones came and went, but the self-love never showed up — because I wasn’t practicing it.
Self-love isn’t conditional. It’s not something you earn when you’re "better" or "fixed." It’s about accepting yourself right now, as you are.
Why Self-Love Is Harder Than It Sounds
If you’ve struggled with self-love, you’re not alone. We live in a world that profits off our insecurities. Think about it—how many ads have you seen with the underlying message, "You’re not enough, but if you buy this, maybe you will be"?
It doesn’t help that many of us grew up with mixed messages. Be confident, but not too confident. Love yourself, but don’t be selfish. It’s no wonder self-love feels confusing and even unachievable at times.
But here’s the truth I wish someone had told me sooner: you can rewrite those narratives. They don’t define you unless you allow them to.
6 Practical Ways to Start Loving Yourself
The good news? Self-love isn’t about one big, life-altering moment. It’s about the small, intentional choices you make every day. Here are six practices that have worked for me—and that I hope will work for you, too.
1. Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend
Would you tell your best friend, “You’re such a failure for making that mistake”? Of course not! But how often do you say things like that to yourself?
Start paying attention to your internal dialogue. When you catch yourself being self-critical, pause and ask, “Would I say this to someone I care about?” If the answer is no, try rephrasing it. Instead of, “I’m such a mess,” try, “I’m doing my best, and that’s okay.”
It feels strange at first—I won’t lie. But over time, this small act of kindness can transform the way you see yourself.
2. Set Boundaries (And Stick to Them)
Here’s a tough truth I had to learn the hard way: you can’t love yourself if you’re always sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love often looks like saying "no" to things that drain you, so you can say "yes" to what nourishes you.
Maybe it’s declining that extra work project when you’re already swamped. Maybe it’s setting limits with a friend who’s always asking for favors but never reciprocates. Remember, boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re necessary.
3. Celebrate Your Wins (Big and Small)
We’re so quick to celebrate others, but when was the last time you celebrated yourself? And I’m not just talking about the big achievements. Did you get out of bed on a day when anxiety tried to hold you hostage? That’s a win. Did you finally tackle that pile of laundry? Another win.
Try ending each day by writing down three things you’re proud of yourself for. It might feel silly at first, but trust me—it’s a game-changer.
4. Forgive Yourself
I used to carry my mistakes around like heavy luggage. I’d replay them in my head, wondering why I wasn’t smarter, better, or more prepared. But here’s the thing about mistakes: they’re proof that you’re trying, learning, and growing.
Self-love means extending grace to yourself. Forgive yourself for the times you fell short. Treat those moments as lessons, not verdicts.
5. Prioritize Self-Care that Feeds Your Soul
When you hear “self-care,” what comes to mind? For me, it’s not always face masks or long baths—though I do love a good skincare routine. Sometimes, self-care is as simple as going for a walk, eating a meal that nourishes my body, or calling a friend when I feel low.
Ask yourself, “What do I genuinely need right now?” Then honor that need without guilt.
6. Surround Yourself With Positivity
They say you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Who are yours? Do they uplift you, or do they drain you?
Cultivate a circle that encourages self-love and growth. Follow social media accounts that inspire you, join communities that align with your values, and spend time with people who see and celebrate your worth.
Self-Love Is a Journey, Not a Destination
Here’s the thing about self-love that no one really tells you—it’s not a one-and-done deal. Like any relationship, the one with yourself requires ongoing care and attention. There will be days when it feels easier and days when it feels nearly impossible. That’s okay. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
If you’re struggling with where to start, consider this your gentle nudge forward. Pick one practice from this blog and try it today. Then tomorrow, and the day after that. With time, these small acts of love will add up. And when they do, you’ll look back and realize you’ve built a life that feels lighter, brighter, and more you.
Because at the end of the day, you are the only you there will ever be. And if that’s not reason enough to love yourself, I don’t know what is.
Take the Next Step Toward Your Best Self
Feeling inspired to start your self-love journey? Why not make 2025 the year you truly step into your power? I’ve created a free Word of the Year Workbook to help you find your guiding word—your anchor for the year ahead. Think of it as a personal mantra that keeps you focused, motivated, and aligned with the life you want to create.
This workbook is simple, fun, and designed to help you reflect on what matters most to you. By the end, you’ll have a word that feels like it was made just for you—a compass to guide you through 2025, one intentional choice at a time.
Don’t wait—grab your Word of the Year Workbook now and start creating a year that feels more you. You deserve it! đź’•
