“You’re right. I have. And I have no intention of ever going back."
This was a very brief conversation I had with my ex-husband shortly before our marriage completely crumbled. He had been great at making excuses for why he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) be the man I met and married. He had changed, and not for the better, in our short 5 years of marriage.
He threw his comment “You know what? You’ve changed too.” back at me. I thought for a second. He wasn’t wrong. I had changed. I was still changing. I was on a very important journey and had no intention of slowing down or going back.
I had been introduced to a world of self-care, self-love, and self-discovery. My new world was surrounded by people who not only wanted the same for themselves, but cheered me on in my own journey.
I was loading myself up with daily personal-development, attending team calls with like-minded people, working out regularly, learning how to fuel my body with healthy foods, attending in-person events with tens to thousands of others on similar journeys, with a similar purpose and goal in mind. Why, oh why, would I stop? And go back to a me who constantly questioned herself, had no self-worth whatsoever, and no clue which way was up and which way was down? Absolutely never!
And why? Why would someone who claimed to love and want to protect me want me to?
Y’all, I had changed. He had changed. Neither of us was budging. I was told to leave our home and never come back. I did. With no car, no money to my name (he had taken our joint account $700 in the negative to be sure), no job, and no home to call my own. But I left with my life. I left with my sanity. I left with my head held high, knowing that I had absolutely made the right decision, even if it was a hard one and hurt.
That was 5 years ago. I’m still on my journey. I’ve had minor set backs here and there. But I’ve kept my promise to never go back. I’ve kept my promise to continually work on me. And I’ve had so many people on my side, cheering me on the whole time.
Y’all, know your worth. Refuse to settle or set your entire being aside for another. You can’t fill from an empty cup. And you are so, so important to this world.